10 types of instagram captions

The title speaks all. This is going to be fun to write. ;-)


1. The hashtagger

thehashtagger #sunset #nofilter #soblessed #okmaybetherewasasmallfilter #buthardlyany #itwaswayprettierinreallifeanyway #sunsetpics #sunsetsofinstagram #sunsetsofinsta #godscreation #art #artisinotdead #godsnotdead #lit #dope #beautiful #stunning #beautifulsunset #imaluckygirl

STOP IT.

2. The long caption-er

thelongcaptioner Ok, so guys these past few hours have been a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't even know where to start, lol, but let me just say that man, it's been worth it. Going to the beach with my one-year-old for the first time was precious and I'll never forget it. The memory is not only in a polaroid snap and instagram pictures, but it's also engraved in my brain. My sweet baby girl saw the ocean with her own eyes as blue as the ocean and my heart ached out of love for her and for the beautiful vast waters. Our God is so so amazing; Ha makes the blue of little baby eyes and the blue of powerful oceans. Coming home from this trip with weary bones and sand-clad skin I was musing about all this and this poem came to mind that my mama used to read to me when I was a little girl. My eyes filled with tears as the words came back to my brain, one by one... {continued in the comments}

(Don't feel like you have to read all that, haha.) I like a bit of meat on a caption but I'll be the first to admit that some people go wayyyy too long EVERY TIME they post (like, how much time do these Mum instagrammers have, to write a novel on their toddlers latest antics every day when they post a picture?!?!) and that some long instagram captions are just so. dead. boring. Like, at this point honey, I don't care about you enough to go to the comment section to read the rest of your caption. Start a blog. Or a diary.

3. The emoji-er

theemojier ⛅✨😍

An emoji speaks a thousand words, people. (Actually, it doesn't. They're cute, but they're not informative and imagination-rousing to the soul.)

4. The no caption

Boring? Lack of creativity? Lazy? All of the above. Whoever writes the first comment gets to be the caption-writer for the picture. (A slight improvement of this one is the caption: "Caption this." :-P)

5. The witty one

thewittyone Ok, so I have literally no reason to post this but you have literally no reason to read this or waste time online so STOP JUDGING ME K. #hatersgonnahate

The one that tries really hard to be funny. (I'm probably this one, if I'm being honest. :-P) Often these people's captions include: a) puns (often really bad ones) b) rants (often really unnecessary ones) c) using wacky hashtags (like #wowlolsofunnyjkthisjokesucks) and d) saying somethign very snobbish like posting a selfie and captioning it with something like 'what a view.' Because that's hilarious, apparently.

6. The deep, short caption-er

thedeepshortcaptioner 💚 D O N ' T  F O R G E T  T O  B R E A T H E 🌒

This one gets my goat. But it's very popular in the World of Insta, I have noticed. Especially girls do this a lot, with pictures of holidays and poses and fields. Other examples of such captions are: "Shoot for the stars 🌠" "But darling, what if you fly?" "Fields of gold" "Golden hour of love" ... honestly, none of them make sense. And they're all from pinterest, probably.

7. The quote caption

thequotecaption "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah

Few people read these captions.

8. The Bible verse caption

theBibleversecaption "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." (Prov. 30:5)

... in a similar vein, this is a popular caption choice with Christian instagrammers who don't feel inspired or led to write a long sermon as a caption. :-P A Proverbs or Romans or Corinthians verse are popular choices. Or John 3:16.

9. The sponsored caption

thesponsoredcaption I love my new boots from @somebootshopnoonecaresabout - they are honestly so comfy and pretty. Use promo code "idontcare' to get 50% off your first purchase! Totally recommended!

This is for popular instagrammers with tons of followers. Kind of annoying though, these captions. I mean, I'm glad they have a job writing these captions and I'd probably do it too if I were them... but I rate these captions 1/10 bc they're boring. Sorry.

10. The 'I posted something' caption

theipostedsomethingcaption New video up on the youtube channel! Link in bio! Check it out!

No explanation needed.

Which one are you? Which one is your favourite/least favourite? Any I forgot?

PS: KATE AND WILLIAM ARE HAVING BABY NO.3!!!! 

22 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. "golden hour of love" xD

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  2. Ehhhh...I think I'm the closest to a 'long caption-er'.

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  3. I am literally all of these except the last three. lol.
    honestly I try not to make my posts cliche but they are. every. single. time.

    lol this was a fun post. it gave me a good laugh

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  4. oh dear I've been guilty of using all of these..

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  5. ALSO CATHERINE AND WILLIAM ARE HAVING BABY NUMBER THREE

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  6. SPOT ON NAOMI. Those Mumstagrammers annoy me SO MUCH too. Like, get a diary already:D

    Love your new blog look!! And oh my gosh yes it's SO EXCITING about baby #3!!! I'm so happy they're expanding their sweet fam:)

    ~Rilla Blythe

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  7. Naomi, I have finally managed to follow your blog!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Ah jammer nu is de blog verbrodt.

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    2. Je ben heel stout en tussenhaakjes "verbrod" is zonder een t hahaha eigen fout dikke bout

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  8. This is lovely!!!! Never have noticed those things, maybe because I'm not on Instagram. Loved this!

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  9. HAHA, SO TRUE. XD

    It's actually kinda hilarious how freakin' accurate this is. And I actually am not sure what I would be... I don't THINK I'd be a long captioner (although... there is a lot of evidence against that :P) - I reckon I'd be more like the witty/ short + deep / quote captioner.

    AND YESSS!!!! SO EXCITING! Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl? ;D

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  10. I never post on Instagram 'cause I don't have the app and don't wanna pay for it . . .

    NEW ROYAL BABY YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. (I hope it's a girl and they name her Alice. If it's a boy they could name him Albert and call him Bertie. :-) )

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    Replies
    1. I second Albert ohmy GOSH YES
      OR Christopher ;)

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  11. This whole post is reason No. 89 why I don't have instagram.
    Just kidding! I actually don't have instagram because I have never asked my parents because I don't feel like it. STOP JUDGING ME K. ;P don't be a hater, Naomi.
    Honestly, instagram seems like a lot of hassle and time that I don't want to be worrying about. I'll use that time to obsess over books and comment on blogs instead, haha!

    EEK THEY ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY???? I cannot wait till we'll be able to see Kate's baby-bump. Baby bumps are soo adorable!

    I love your sarcastic posts and roasts so much.

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  12. And all of this is why I've been to Instagram like twice in my life and have no need/desire to go back!

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  13. ACCURATE.
    This is ridiculously accurate.
    I don't really get annoyed by any of these, but I confess to skimming or skipping the long-caption ones and rolling my eyes at several others. And definitely ignoring the last two kinds.
    Me...Sometimes I'll do a quote caption or something similar with the #clichecaptions (which would perhaps make me guilty of the "attempt at being witty" type of caption as well). I'm also guilty of the #hashtag one, but never that many hashtags. Usually 2 or 3. :D

    This was dreadfully amusing, dear! :D

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  14. This is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  15. This is so funny! I've seen all of these on Instagram before. The one that probably annoys me the most is the hashtagger. I'm probably the trying-really-hard-to-be-funny one, haha.

    ~Lydia~ <3

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  16. the sponsored one is ridiculous and I hate it. you've managed to nail the majority of every IG out there.

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  17. THIS. Is too great. I loved your options about everyone of them.
    Simply Me

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  18. I don't have Instagram, but when I post on G+ it's normally my blog, so I'm #10 "Go check out my latest post! Share with family and friends! Enjoy!" XD :P Great.... I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!! Ah well...

    I saw that!! I'm super excited for royal bay #3!! Their whole family is just precious!! <3

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